LONG BEACH, CA - May 12, 2010 - Two sisters separated by the Holocaust reunite in the aftermath of World War II in Barbara Lebow's powerful and profoundly moving A Shayna Maidel.  ICT artistic director Shashin Desai directs Liza de Weerd, Larry Eisenberg, Laura Howard, Charles Pasternak, Julia Silverman and Erin Anne Williams in a four-week run June 11 through July 3 at International City Theatre in the Long Beach Performing Arts Center.  Low-priced previews begin June 8. International City Theatre first presented A Shayna Maidel as part of its 1992 season. "Our audiences were deeply affected," says Desai.  "We wanted to reprise one play from our archives in celebration of our 25th Anniversary, and this beautiful play kept calling to me." Rose Weiss (Laura Howard) emigrated to America as a young child with her father, Mordechai (Larry Eisenberg). Ill with scarlet fever, older sister Lusia (Liza de Weerd) stayed behind in Poland with Mama (Julia Silverman), planning to follow later.  Now, it's 1946 and Rose is a young woman living in Manhattan when she learns that Lusia has been liberated from a concentration camp and is coming to New York. After a fifteen-year separation, the two women are almost like strangers and must struggle to reconnect. A Shayna Maidel is a bittersweet portrait of a family divided by distance, time, and life experience. "This is not a depressing play about the Holocaust," emphasizes Desai. "Lebow develops the relationship between these two women, sisters who are virtual strangers, with insight and gentle humor, and in the end it's an uplifting, even cathartic experience." A Shayna Maidel premiered in 1985 at the Hartford Stage Company in Hartford, CT, and it opened in New York City a year later.  Since then, it has been performed to acclaim in theaters all over the country. New York Times theater critic Mel Gussow called A Shayna Maidel "a deeply personalized study of sisterhood, family and a crisis of faith. Moving among her characters and shifting back and forth in time, the playwright draws a comprehensive portrait of a family devastated by war." "It's an emotional powerhouse of almost overwhelming proportions," wrote the

(June 7) -- Hearst Newspapers announced today the immediate retirement of Helen Thomas, dean of the White House press corps, in the midst of an uproar over her comments that Jews should "get the hell out of Palestine." "Her decision came after her controversial comments about Israel and the Palestinians were captured on videotape and widely disseminated on the Internet," Hearst said in a statement. It noted that her 90th birthday is Aug. 4. Thomas began her career as a correspondent with United Press International in 1943. According to her website, she has covered the administrations of 10 U.S. presidents, starting with the Kennedy administration. She was the first female member of the White House Correspondents' Association and the Gridiron Club. At the conclusion of presidential news conferences, it was her voice that announced, "Thank you, Mr. President." In 2000, she left UPI and joined Hearst News Service as a columnist but was still honored with a front-row seat at presidential news conferences. The board of the White House Correspondents' Association said the incident revived the question of whether it is appropriate for an opinion columnist to occupy a prominent seat in the White House briefing room. The board will hold a special meeting Thursday to decide on the matter. "Helen Thomas' comments were indefensible, and the White House Correspondents' Association board firmly dissociates itself from them," the board said in a statement. "Many in our profession who have known Helen for years were saddened by the comments, which were especially unfortunate in light of her role as a trailblazer on the White House beat." Also today, White House spokesman Robert Gibbs issued a broadside about Thomas' remarks. Asked during a nationally televised briefing about the BP oil spill if he had discussed Thomas' statement with President Barack Obama, Gibbs replied, "I have not spoken with him directly on that. I'll say this ... I think those remarks were offensive and reprehensible. I think she should and has apologized, because obviously those remarks do not reflect certainly the opinion of, I assume, most of the people in here and certainly not of the administration." During a White House commemoration of Jewish Heritage Month on May 27, Rabbi David F. Nesenoff of the website RabbiLive asked Thomas if she had any comments on Israel. "Tell them to get the hell out of Palestine," said Thomas, who is of Lebanese descent. "Remember, these people are occupied. And it's their land. It's not German, it's not Poland." When Nesenoff asked Thomas where the Israelis should go, she said they should "go home" to Germany, Poland and the U.S. Video of the gaffe has been widely circulated on the Internet. Thomas apologized on her website on June 4, saying, "I deeply regret my comments I made last week regarding the Israelis and the Palestinians. They do not reflect my heartfelt belief that peace will come to the Middle East only when all parties recognize the need for mutual respect and tolerance. May that day come soon." But Abraham Foxman, national director of the Anti-Defamation League, demanded a "more sincere" apology. "Helen Thomas' statement of regret does not go far enough," he said in a statement. "Thomas needs to make a more forceful and sincere apology for the pain her remarks have caused." Before Hearst's announcement of Thomas' retirement, the former spokesman for President George W. Bush said the Hearst news organization should fire her. "As someone who is Jewish, and as someone who worked with her and used to like her, I find this appalling," Ari Fleischer said. Lanny Davis, former White House counsel under President Bill Clinton, called Thomas "an anti-Semitic bigot." Over the weekend, Thomas was dumped by her speaking agency, Nine Speakers, and a high school in Bethesda, Md., canceled plans for her to deliver a speech at its graduation ceremonies. Ibrahim Hooper, director of communications for the Council on American-Islamic Relations, defended Thomas, though not her comments. "Obviously her remarks were inappropriate," Hooper told AOL News in a phone interview today. But, he said, "she's been a target of the pro-Israeli lobby for quite some time. She obviously gave them an opportunity to marginalize her voice in the media." He said Thomas' emotions might have "got the best of her."

BETHESDA, Md. (June 7) -- A high school graduation speech by veteran White House reporter Helen Thomas has been canceled because of controversial remarks she made about Israel, the school's principal said in an e-mail Sunday. Thomas had been scheduled to speak at the June 14 graduation of Walt Whitman High School, but Principal Alan Goodwin wrote in the e-mail to students and parents that she was being replaced. The school in the Washington suburb of Bethesda, Md., hasn't picked a new speaker. "Graduation celebrations are not the venue for divisiveness," Goodwin wrote. Thomas, a columnist for Hearst Newspapers, issued an apology on her Web site on Friday for comments that were captured on video by an interviewer for the website www.rabbilive.com. On the video dated May 27, Thomas says Israelis should "get the hell out of Palestine," suggesting they go to Germany, Poland or the U.S. "I deeply regret my comments I made last week regarding the Israelis and the Palestinians," Thomas wrote on her site on Friday. "They do not reflect my heart-felt belief that peace will come to the Middle East only when all parties recognize the need for mutual respect and tolerance. May that day come soon." The national director of the Anti-Defamation League, Abraham H. Foxman, said Sunday that Thomas' apology didn't go far enough. "Her suggestion that Israelis should go back to Poland and Germany is bigoted and shows a profound ignorance of history," Foxman said in a statement. "We believe Thomas needs to make a more forceful and sincere apology for the pain her remarks have caused." Thomas, 89, began her long career with the wire service United Press International in 1943, and started covering the White House in 1960, according to a biography posted on her website. She became a columnist for Hearst in 2000.

Five months after a sea urchin treated Eli Roth's foot like like a Tiger Woods mistress -- and pricked the holy hell out of it -- the "Inglorious Basterds" star is finally stickler-free after a serious medical procedure. Roth showed us his stitches in West Hollywood yesterday -- where he wasn't just talking about the gore ... he also talked about a few monsters. Tune in to TMZ on TV weekdays Monday through Friday (check http://www.tmz.com/tmztv/ for syndicated/local listings)The "Inglourious Basterds" star -- and winner of Jew/Not a Jew -- was kayaking a mile from shore when he got pulled under by a whirlpool. Eli tells TMZ he tried climbing on a rock that was covered in sea urchins, with nobody in sight, but then a huge wave engulfed him ... he tried gaining hisbalance on the rocks and stepped on the urchins, which unleashed scores of spikes into his body.Eli screamed for help. A nearby fisherman saved him. The doctor couldn't anesthetize his foot because of swelling, so the doc held up a needle and tweezers and said, "Be brave."And get this. When Eli got to shore, writhing in pain, a dude in a nearby boat came over -- drink in hand -- and asked Eli to meet his kid. Eli said, "Um, really, I just almost died out there." The dude persisted, and his son -- a 20-year-old who had too much to drink -- came over for a schmoozefest. Eli held out his bloody hand and the meet and greet was over.The Bear Jew was stung 200 times -- pins in the bottom of his feet and palms.E.R. is in pain but ok. He tells us he's actually doing something more painful tonight ... going to the People's Choice Awards.

A parent's worst nightmare. "Behind The Gates", by Wendy Graf, tells the gripping story of what happens when a 17 year old takes a school trip to Israel and disappears. As her parents feverishly search throughout Jerusalem for their daughter, wounds of family and harrowing family dynamics surface, and real questions of right and wrong are confronted in a world where ancient and modern collide, where the Babel of languages defines and isolates, conflicting cultures and politics clash, lost civilizations, extreme orthodoxies and passionate feelings of nationalism try to coexist, changing on a minute by minute basis. Most of all, Behind the Gates is about communication: the difficulties of it, the search for it, and the desperate need to be heard. Follow us on Facebook! Become a fan of BEHIND THE GATES and get updates as to cast, venue, ticket availability, etc. Follow our link to Plays411.net/gates for tickets and sales information. You can also access through Plays411.com

WASHINGTON (JTA) -- Funny Jewish women will get their due as part of the Jewish American Heritage Month celebrations in Washington. On Wednesday, the Library of Congress will honor Joan Rivers, the late Gilda Radner and other female Jewish comedians through the showing and discussion of "Making Trouble: Three Generations of Funny Jewish Women." President Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama on Thursday will host the first White House reception in honor of Jewish American Heritage Month, which was started by former President George W. Bush. The same evening, the National Archives will host "The Jewish Experience During the Civil War," in which the panelists will discuss a key text, including Gen. Ulysses Grant's order calling for the expulsion of all Jews in his military districts of Tennessee, Mississippi and Kentucky. Gary Zola, professor of the American Jewish Experience at Hebrew Union College, will moderate the panel, which includes Eli Evans, author of "Judah P. Benjamin: The Jewish Confederate," and Pamela Nadell, director of Jewish studies at American University.

A Jewish man spots his Jewish friend reading an Arabic newspaper “An Arabic newspaper? Moshe, have you lost your mind?” he says. “Well, I used to read the Jewish papers, but what did I find?” Moshe replies. “Jews being persecuted, Israel being attacked, Jews disappearing through assimilation, Jews living in poverty. So I switched to an Arab newspaper. Now what do I find? Jews own the banks, Jews control the media, Jews are all rich and powerful, Jews rule the world. The news is so much better!”

   The story is told, in several cultural variations, of a Jewish man spotting a friend reading an Arabic newspaper. “Moshe, have you lost your mind?” he says.  

Young David asked his wealthy grandfather, Sol, how he had made his money. Sol said, "Well, David, it was 1955, and I was down to my last five cents. I went to the local market and invested that five cents in a large apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents." "The next morning, I invested the ten cents in two large apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and I sold them at the end of the day for twenty cents. I continued this system for a month. Then Bubbie’s father died and left us five million dollars."

Superman was the work of Jewish cartoonists—as were Batman, Spiderman, Iron Man and other superheroes of the era. Ever since the comic strip was invented in the immigrant neighborhoods of New York, Jewish artists have played a key role in developing the medium. The exhibition draws on the work of over forty artists to trace the history of Jewish illustrators, scriptwriters and publishers of comics throughout the twentieth century. It presents heroes and anti-heroes, hard-hitting opponents of Hitler, and neurotic petty bourgeois. With over 400 objects on display, it spans an arc from the first superhero comics of the 1930s and 1940s, through the underground scene of the 1960s, to the more challenging literary format of our time, the graphic novel. Veterans of the medium such as Rube Goldberg, Will Eisner and Harvey Kurtzman are represented along with contemporary artists such as Art Spiegelman, Rutu Modan, Joann Sfar and Ben Katchor by numerous original drawings, sketches, and comic books.  

Early Comic Newspaper Strips – An Immigrant History from New York

The Anti-Nazi Comic Offensive

A New Generation of Jewish Superheroes

In the early 1960s Jewish illustrators and authors created a new generation of superheroes, featuring characters such as “Hulk,” the “X-Men,” or “Fantastic Four.” Here, for the first time, one finds characters that play on specifically Jewish stories such as the Golem legend, but it is only in the 1970s that characters acquire an explicitly Jewish biography.

Shock, Horror and the Comics Code

Sex, Drugs and Autobiographies

Jewish Perspectives on History, Tradition and the Present

Meyer, a lonely widower, was walking home along Delancy Street one day wishing something wonderful would happen in his life when he passed by a pet store and heard a squawking voice speaking Yiddish, "Auwwwwk... vus macht du... yeah, you... outside, standing like a schmuck... eh?" Meyer's eyes went wide. He couldn't believe it! The proprietor of the shop sprang out the door and grabbed Meyer by the sleeve. "Come in here, fella," he said, "and check out this parrot." Inside the store, Meyer stood in front of an African Grey that cocked his little head and squawked, "Vus? Kenst reddin Yiddish?" Meyer turned excitedly to the store owner. "He speaks Yiddish?" he asked. "Indeed he does," the shop owner replied. Meyer immediately bought the parrot and carried it home in its cage. That night he talked with the parrot for hours in Yiddish. He told the parrot about his father's adventures coming to America, about how beautiful his mother was when she was a young bride, about his family, about his years of working in the garment center, about Florida. The parrot listened and commented. They shared some wal- nuts. The parrot told him of living in the pet store and how he hated the weekends when the store wasn't open as long as it was during the week. Presently, they both went to sleep. The next morning, Meyer began saying his prayers. The parrot asked what he was doing and when Meyer explained, the parrot wanted to pray too. Meyer hand-made a miniature yarmulke, placed it on the parrot's head and they prayed together. The parrot wanted to learn to read Hebrew so Meyer taught him the Torah. Since Rosh Hashanah was coming up, he taught the bird to sing the High Holy Service and was very impressed with how beautiful the bird sang. On the morning of Rosh Hashanah, Meyer rose and got dressed. The parrot asked where he was going. Meyer explained that he was attending the holiday services at the local synagogue. The bird asked if he could please come along. This gave Meyer an idea. He would attend Rosh Hashanah with the parrot and make wagers that the bird could sing the service better than the temple's cantor! So he perched the bird on his shoulder and made for the synagogue. Needless to say, they made quite a spectacle, and Meyer was questioned by everyone, including the Rabbi. "He's a singing parrot," Meyer explained. "I'll bet he can sing the High Holy Service better than the cantor. He also speaks and prays in Yiddish." The others did not believe him. Wagers were made with Meyer. Thousands of dollars were bet that the parrot could not pray, speak Yiddish or sing. The service began. All eyes were on the African Grey perched on Meyer's shoulder. The bird remained silent as one prayer and song passed, then another, then a third! Meyer began to get annoyed, slapping at his shoulder and mumbling under his breath, "Pray already!" The parrot said nothing. "Come on! Pray! Sing!" Meyer loudly whispered. "Everyone's looking at you. Don't make a fool out of me!" The parrot remained silent. After the services were concluded, Meyer found that he owed his synagogue buddies and the Rabbi over four thousand dollars! He marched home with the bird on his shoulder, saying nothing. Finally, several blocks from the temple, the bird began to sing an old Yiddish song and was happy as a lark. Meyer stopped and looked at him. "You miserable bird, you cost me over four thousand dollars!" he admonished. "Why? After I taught you the morning prayers, and how to read Hebrew and the Torah? And after you begged me to bring you to a synagogue on Rosh Hashanah? Why? Why did you do this to me?" "Don't be a schmuck!" the parrot replied. "Think of the odds we'll get on Yom Kippur!"

LOS ANGELES — It might take the reasoning powers, not to mention the vocabulary, of a Talmudic scholar to figure out what Paramount Pictures and DreamWorks are trying to say with the title of their new Steve Carell comedy. Those familiar with Yiddish, polite and otherwise, will recognize a rude term that — in one of its several layers of meaning — denotes the penis. Delve a little deeper and you also find the German term for “decoration,” from the Middle High German “smucken,” meaning “to press into.” But the Online Etymology Dictionary insists that the Yiddish vulgarism actually comes from the Old Polish “smok,” meaning “grass snake” or “dragon.” Either way, Paramount and DreamWorks have slapped the word onto a movie that is directed by Jay Roach, who knows his way around crude titles. Mr. Roach’s last two films were “Meet the Fockers” and “Austin Powers in Goldmember,” and he tiptoed toward the brink of an international ratings problem with his “Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me,” which used British slang for sex. The current movie is inspired — it is not a remake, says a spokesman for Mr. Roach — by Francis Veber’s 1998 comedy of manners in which polished, well-heeled Frenchmen hold regular dinners where they compete over who can bring the biggest buffoon as his guest. The French title also includes a term that has a sometimes vulgar meaning yet can be translated as “Dinner for Idiots” — though it was actually released in English as “The Dinner Game.” A few weeks ago, Debbie Schlussel — a kind of all-purpose film critic, political commentator and Web opinion spinner — took issue not just with the trailer promoting “Dinner for Schmucks,” about which she wrote on her Web site, debbieschlussel.com, “it looks like utter garbage,” but also with its use of Yiddish. “The more correct title would have been ‘Dinner for Schlemiels,’ ” Ms. Schlussel insisted, if the filmmakers were trying to describe the geeky behavior displayed Mr. Carell in the pratfall-filled trailer. The Online Etymology Dictionary would seem to agree, as a schlemiel is described as an “awkward, clumsy person,” while the sort of “contemptible person” referred to in the title would seem more like the characters, one of them played by Paul Rudd, who act like jerks by giving the dinner. Actually, Mr. Carell’s character has a bit of the shmendrik about him because he seems quite stupid, and he is a hopeless shlimazl, with obvious bad luck. And yet in the modern, Americanized usage, in which the word “dumb” is often dropped in front of the movie title’s core vulgarity, well, he does it justice. In a brief exchange of e-mail messages last week, Mr. Roach said he was not quite sure who among the film’s writers and producers came up with the title, which was in place when he joined the project. Other titles were considered, he said, but none “came close to fitting the story better.” The title seems slyly ambiguous: the audience is supposed to wonder whether it belongs to Mr. Carell or to Mr. Rudd. “I always overthink the titles on all my films,” Mr. Roach explained. He concurred that the movie’s underlying idea was to turn perceptions inside out by questioning “the way the mainstream world sees unique, odd people as losers.” Be that as it may, the world’s pop-cultural apparatus is now left to deal with a word that was once “regarded as so vulgar as to be taboo” in the home of the Yiddish language aficionado Leo Rosten, according to his 1968 treatise, “The Joys of Yiddish.” The comic Lenny Bruce said he was arrested for using it onstage. According to an online account by Russ Walter, at angelfire.com/nh/secret/2Judaism, NBC once banned the word from a “Saturday Night Live” skit, written by Al Franken, in which Lincoln was to use it in addressing Richard M. Nixon. Representatives of NBC and the “Saturday Night Live” producer Lorne Michaels would not confirm the incident when contacted recently. Liz Fischer, one of the NBC representatives, said the network had cleared advertising for Mr. Roach’s new movie to run after 9 p.m., when younger viewers are presumably not watching. The Classification and Rating Administration, which assigns film ratings, as of Monday had not announced one for Mr. Roach’s new film. One person connected with the film, however, said it was aimed at a PG-13 rating rather than the more restrictive R. Only recently, Warner Brothers transformed its police-buddy film “A Couple of Dicks” into “Cop Out” after being advised that the networks, detecting a sexually oriented double-entendre, would restrict advertising of the original title. How Paramount will translate its new title when releasing Mr. Roach’s movie in, say, Turkey, where it is set to open on Sept. 24, is not clear. The studio might take a cue from the cartoonist Al Capp, who twisted the offending word into shmoo, which was a further revision of the euphemism schmo. At The New York Times, where the word is still considered potentially offensive, the title of Mr. Roach’s film may be mentioned only sparingly. Still, advertisements for the movie would probably pass muster, said Steph Jespersen, director of advertising acceptability for The Times, though a final decision will be subject to review by a standards editor and possibly a “rabbi or two.” For what it is worth, Rabbi Marvin Hier, the founder and dean of the Simon Wiesenthal Center in Los Angeles, said he had no problem with the title. “Do I use it? I do not,” Rabbi Hier said of the S-word. But “in the world, that word has taken on a different connotation,” he added. “I’m not going to say there should be a law that Hollywood should not use such a word.”

When Tzvi Khaute landed at Tel Aviv for the first time, he wanted to kiss the earth. Alas, the modern airport was all tarmac and stone, so he kissed the first soil he came across, in a flowerpot. Thousands of diaspora Jews from around the world make aliyah — the migration to Israel — every year, but for Tzvi and his fellow Tibeto-Burmese immigrants from the far northeast of India, the journey was particular freighted with symbolism. They believe they are descendants of one of the ten lost tribes of Israel, sent into exile by the Assyrians almost 800 years before the Romans destroyed the temple in Jerusalem. About 1,700 members of the Bnei Menashe tribe — the Sons of Manasseh, one of the original 12 biblical tribes of Israel — have migrated to Israel, completing what they believe is an extraordinary, 2,700-year exile that took them from the Middle East seven centuries before the Christian era, through Afghanistan, China, Burma and India, before they heard that a new state of Israel had been created 62 years ago. “A hundred years ago, my forefathers thought the land of Israel was not on this earth, they thought it was something in heaven,” said Mr Khaute, a smiling 35-year-old wearing a kippa, or skullcap. In India, about 7,000 more are waiting for the green light to close the circle of almost three millennia. The Bnei Menashe, then known as the Shinlung or Kuki people, were discovered in their remote home in the India-Burma border state of Manipur by Christian missionaries at the end of the 19th century. They were surprised to find that the natives already seemed to know some of the biblical stories they taught, while local people believed they had rediscovered the religion told about in their traditions relating to a long-lost ancestor. Many converted to Christianity, but in recent decades have begun switching their faith to Judaism, a creed that was not yet fully formed when their ancestors left the Middle East.

When I was growing up, I knew with certainty what Jewish food was. It was brisket, stuffed cabbage, matzoh ball soup, and everything else my grandmother fed me. It was liver roughly chopped by hand in an aged wooden bowl, glistening with chicken fat and dotted with flecks of burnt onions. It was food that needed special plates and silverware for meat and dairy and the wonder of the magic of pareve, foods that could be eaten with anything. Mostly it was food Grandma had grown up eating as prepared by her Russian-born mother. But what was Jewish to me then was really just a snapshot of one kind of Jewish food – a New York interpretation of Russian shtetl cooking. So what is Jewish food? “The food of the Jewish people is also the history of the Jewish people. The dishes, flavorings, and traditions chronicle the resources of the lands they were exiled to and from,” says author Marlena Spieler in The Complete Guide to Traditional Jewish Cooking. The Jewish Diaspora brought red pepper to Hungry and pumpkin to Venice. These and other ingredients and cooking techniques influenced the local cuisines where Jews lived just as Jews were influenced by the available foods and prevalent dishes. Challah’s distinctive braid, for example, may have been adapted from a local bread in Germany. Italians still savor a dish from Rome known as carciofi alla giudia (artichokes in the style of the Jews). Spieler’s book features food traditions and recipes from Russia, Poland, Ukraine, Germany, Hungry, Romania, Bulgaria, France, Italy, Spain, Portugal, Greece, Morocco, Egypt, Ethiopia, Iran, Israel, the Middle East, India, Central Asia, China, the United States and Latin America. The food I ate in my grandmother’s kitchen would have been recognized by Jews from Germany and Eastern Europe as distinctly Jewish, although the food might be not sweet enough for the Poles and not spicy enough for Romanians. Ashkenazi food traditions began when Jews settled in the Rhine Valley and spread as persecution drove them further ever further eastward. According to Spieler, it was a cold weather cuisine. Cabbage and cucumbers were fermented into sauerkraut and pickles. Fish and meats were smoked and salted. Meat was scarce and often used as a component of other dishes to make it go further. Beans and grains were plentiful. Once potatoes were introduced they were widely eaten. Sephardic Jews had very different food influences. Those who lived toward northern Spain had food ways that reflected the legacy of the Roman Empire such as grapes, wheat and olive trees. Those in the southern end of the Iberian peninsula were influenced by the occupation of the Ottoman Turks, and incorporated spices such as cumin, cinnamon, nutmeg and black pepper in their cooking as well as rice, almonds, citrus, eggplants, spinach and artichokes, according to Joyce Goldstein in Sephardic Flavors: Jewish Cooking of the Mediterranean. Other cuisines developed independently of these major groups, but the spread of the Sephardim after their expulsion from Spain in 1492 and Portugal in 1497 affected the Jewish food cultures they came in contact with by trade or settlement. Sephardic Jews changed their cooking, too, as they began to learn new regional specialties. As varied as the many cuisines of the Jews are, though, very few dishes can be traced back to the foods eaten in Judea more than 2,000 years ago, according to Gil Marks, author of The World of Jewish Cooking. Among them are Sabbath stews (such as cholent and hamin) and charoset (Passover nut and fruit pastes), but even then the ingredients and cooking methods would be unrecognizable to our ancestors. One unifying factor that has shaped Jewish food is the religion itself, with its dietary laws, home-based, food-centered celebrations and the tradition of according symbolic meaning to some dishes. According to Marks, it is this aspect of Jewish food that creates similarities in our varied cuisines. He points out all Jewish communities use foods mentioned in the Torah as “symbolic ingredients in assorted festival dishes.” Since foods had to be prepared in advance, “vinegar was commonly added as a preservative and often sweeteners or raisins would be added” to balance the flavor, resulting in a tradition of sweet and sour dishes across the Jewish food experience. Another example would be cooking dishes fried in oil, such as latkes (Eastern European potato pancakes) or sufganiyot (Israeli jelly doughnuts) as symbolic foods for Chanukah, celebrating the oil that lasted for eight nights. Dietary laws resulted in Jews creating a cuisine that was different from their non-Jewish neighbors and helped preserve a special sense of community, but this differentness also lead to persecution. During the Inquisition, officials used the testimony about the eating habits of newly converted Christians to make sure they had abandoned all Jewish practices, according A Drizzle of Honey: The Lives and Recipes of Spain’s Secret Jews by David M. Gitlitz and Linda Kay Davidson. Preparing Jewish dishes and avoiding pork were seen as proof of unrepentant ways. Penalty for being discovered could be death. The last century has seen other disruptions in traditional Jewish food ways. Many localized food traditions were lost because of the Holocaust. Writer Mimi Sheraton went to Bialystok, Poland, and found that virtually no trace of the city’s famed bialy, a chewy bread roll with onions, had survived the Holocaust. As opportunities for migration to Israel and elsewhere became available, long established Jewish communities in other countries began to dwindle. The survival of many cuisines began to depend on communities that were now scattered. But others have now discovered the many flavors of Jewish food. Israeli cuisine has been influenced by this influx of food ways. Cookbook writers have become amateur historians to track down historic dishes as they worked to preserve the legacies of Jewish cuisines. Translating these recipes had another impact, as the mostly Ashkenazi Jews of North America and Europe began to discover Sephardic and other Jewish cuisines and incorporated them into their Jewish food repertoire. I like to think that as we share our Jewish food heritage we begin to understand the diversity of the Jewish world and people. Slathering Yemenite hot sauce on pita bread, making a Tunisian vegetable dish, or eating other Jewish recipes from around the world connects me with Judaism and our shared history as much as when I try to recreate Grandma’s chopped liver. It is food out of our tradition that has become my tradition. To me, that’s what Jewish food is.

Last weekend the American National Security Adviser, General James Jones, spoke at the 25-year anniversary gala of the Washington Institute for Near East Policy*. Mindful that the crowd consisted of many Jews, General Jones believed would be an appropriate, friendly gesture to launch his speech with a Jewish Joke. He was obviously wrong. Jones failed to realise that as much as Jews love to tell jokes about themselves, they are pretty circumspect when others have a good time at their expense. It didn’t take long for the head of the notorious Anti-Defamation League, Abe Foxman, to deliver a clear message to General Jones: if you want to join our comedy club you better be a Jew. The following is the transcript of General Jones in his attempt to deliver a kosher joke: "A Taliban militant gets lost and is wandering around the desert looking for water. He finally arrives at a store run by a Jew and asks for water. The Jewish vendor tells him he doesn't have any water but can gladly sell him a tie. The Taliban begins to curse and yell at the Jewish storeowner. The Jew, unmoved, offers the rude militant an idea: Beyond the hill, there is a restaurant; they can sell you water. The Taliban keeps cursing and finally leaves toward the hill. An hour later he's back at the tie store. He walks in and tells the merchant: "Your brother tells me I need a tie to get into the restaurant." As it happens, General Jones is a devoted supporter of Israel. By telling the above joke Jones aimed to please his Zionist audience with what he regarded as an amusing juxtaposition of Jewish ‘shrewdness’ together with savage Taliban ‘naivety’. Moreover he tried to convey a message of an American-Jewish bond premised on the notion that the Taliban warrior is not just America’s enemy; but is also an enemy of the Jew. Israeli Ynetnews reported today that, though the joke was well received by the participants, some Jewish community leaders pounced on the remark: “ADL says joke in which Jewish merchant swindles thirsty Taliban fighter inappropriate and stereotypical”. Clearly Abe Foxman and some other Jewish ethnic leaders were not impressed. Seemingly they didn’t approve of the ‘Jewish swindler’ stereotype. Interestingly enough, in the joke the Jewish vendor doesn’t cheat, there is no fraud. In the joke the Jewish merchant doesn’t try to obtain anything by means of deception. In the joke a merchant may trick a Taliban fighter to buy a tie but there is no swindle. However, as much as there is no ‘Jewish swindling’ in the joke as the ADL suggested, there is plenty of it in American mainstream news. Tragically enough we recently met far too many Jewish fraudsters, swindlers and organ traffickers whether it was Madoff, Goldman Sachs, Lehman Brothers or many. Those who follow the news from Israel learn daily about the institutional corruption and swindling scandals in the Jewish state. Seemingly, Foxman and other Jewish leaders demanded General Jones apologize for something that they see in themselves, rather than something the General himself suggested or said. However, a deeper reading of Jones’ joke reveals the embarrassing fact that it is not the ‘swindling’ attempt that reflects so badly on the Jewish tie vendor. It is actually the lack of human compassion. In the joke the tie vendor would not give water to a thirsty man who lost his way in the desert. In the joke, greed eclipses humanity. As much as this idea depicts a pretty harsh stereotypical reading of Jewish identity, such an interpretation is reasonable and even legitimate considering the crimes against humanity performed by the Jewish state in the name of the Jewish people. The starvation of 1.5 million Palestinians in Gaza is one example of such a lack of humanist consciousness. Again. I wouldn’t think that this is what General Jones had in his mind when telling the joke. However, it is more than likely that once the Zionist crowd stopped chuckling, they grasped the similarity between themselves and the Jewish vendor. A further critical reading of Jones’ joke would also bring to light a sharp criticism of Jewish tribal brotherhood in the context of Western politics. In the joke two Jewish brothers look after each other regardless of any human or universal concern. In the joke, two Jewish merchants collaborate in the torture and exploitation of a thirsty man in the middle of the desert. It is a blatant tale of tribal nepotism. Again, considering the extensive and relentless work done by Jewish lobbies to support their brothers in Israel and bearing in mind the endless Neocon attempt to drag us all into wars, Jones’ joke should be taken as more than a whiff of witty criticism. Abe Foxman has managed to terrorise General Jones into submission. He may have succeeded in diverting the attention from the moral of Jones’s joke into just another meaningless debate about anti Semitism. However this joke, like almost any other Jewish joke, is a glimpse into Jewish identity and Jewish politics. Moreover, Abe Foxman’s reaction provides us with a spectacular insight into Jewish political morbidity. Needless to say that Jones was quick to apologize. He also said that the Joke distracted from the larger message he carried that day, “that the United States' commitment to Israel's security is sacrosanct." The General’s submissive response leaves me wondering about America’s commitment to itself. Clearly by rushing to appease AIPAC and ADL, General Jones ended up in a similar position to his fictional Taliban fighter who was begging two Jewish brothers for a sip of water. BY GILAD ATZMON http://www.gilad.co.uk/writings/welcome-to-the-jewish-comedy-club-by-gilad-atzmon.html

"The man who regards his own life and that of his fellow creatures as meaningless is not merely unfortunate but almost disqualified for life."

 - Albert Einstein

A rabbi gets special permission to travel to Moscow, whereupon he sees a really well-dressed gentleman. He thinks to himself:

This fellow doesn't look like a peasant, and if he isn't a peasant, he probably comes from this district.  And if he comes from this district, he must be Jewish because this is a Jewish district. But if he is Jewish, he can't be going to Moscow because I am the only Jew who has permission to go there. Wait, just outside Moscow there is a village called Samvet. So he must be going there...But why would he be going there? There are only two Jewish families there, the Goldsteins and the Goldberg. The Goldsteins are a terrible family, so he must be going to the Goldbergs. But why would he be going there?  I know, Abraham is sick, so he must be a doctor to cure him. No, that can't be it, because he is cheap and besides he cannot afford it. Oh... he must be their son-in-law, Alexander Cohen. But if he looks so good, he must be a doctor or something. But if he has a doctorote, he must have changed his last name because they don't allow Jews in universities. What must be his name? I know, the goyish equivalent to Cohen.  Which is Kovaks. So he goes to the guy and asks, "How are you, Dr. Kovaks?" The startled stranger says, "How did you know my name? To which he says, "It was obvious!"

“I will insist the Hebrews have contributed more to civilize men than any other nation. If I was an atheist and believed in blind eternal fate, I should still believe that fate had ordained the Jews to be the most essential instrument for civilizing the nations ... They are the most glorious nation that ever inhabited this Earth. The Romans and their empire were but a bubble in comparison to the Jews. They have given religion to three-quarters of the globe and have influenced the affairs of mankind more and more happily than any other nation, ancient or modern.”

- John Adams, Second President of the United States (From a letter to F. A. Van der Kemp [Feb. 16, 1808] Pennsylvania Historical Society)

Remedy is a white rapper who is part of the Wu-Tang Killa Beez. Born in 1972 as Ross Filler in Staten Island, NY, he began writing songs and poems at the age of seven, and by high school, was performing as a rapper at local shows. Filler (around this time known as Remedy) began recording demos at Northshore Soundworks, the home of such rap luminaries as EPMD, Das EFX, and Redman. After striking up a friendship with Wu-Tang Clan member RZA, Remedy's track "Never Again" (a track inspired by the rapper's Jewish roots and the holocaust) appeared on the hit Wu 1998 release, The Swarm. Remedy's debut album, The Genuine Article, appeared in April of 2001, produced entirely by the rapper himself and mixed by RZA. Two years later, Code Red arrived in January, including a track that offered his personal viewpoint on the terrorist hijacking of September 11th, 2001.

There was a snotty little article in The New Yorker last year in which the magazine attempted to come to terms with the pop star P!nk’s rising popularity. The problem, as diagnosed by the magazine’s chief popular-music critic, was two-fold: first, P!nk (the exclamation mark is particularly irritating, I suspect, for intellectuals who are forced to write about her in literary magazines) couldn’t legitimately claim to be a rebel in the heavily commercialised pop world in which she now so clearly dominates; second, her lyrics were terrible. The article quoted a line from her hit single So What in which, in her typically autobiographical, bratty way, she bawls out her husband, a motocross rider called Carey, from whom she was in the process of separating at the time. “I’m all right, I’m just fine,” she bellows, “And you’re a tool.” Her fans don’t seem to mind her speak-as-I-find lyrics (she has had something like 18 hits in the UK; she can’t remember exactly how many) and they pack not just concert halls but whole stadiums to listen to her fiery, poppy songs, which seem to veer thematically between the drunken night before (“I’m going to start a fight”) and the regretful morning after (“Please don’t leave me”), with a smattering of cultural critique in between: Dear Mr President (2007) vilifies George Bush; Stupid Girls (2006), takes a machete to materialistic, girly women such as Lindsay Lohan, with whom P!nk was reported to have entered into a “lesbian feud” at about the time the single was released. Disappointingly the “feud” amounted to little more than a teenage-level indiscretion: P!nk had let slip that Christina Aguilera had told her that she fancied Lohan. Something along those lines anyway. Amazing what drives record sales. She will be headlining the Wireless Festival in Hyde Park in June, the first time a woman will have done so, but right now she’s at the tail end of a tour that has taken in most of Europe and Australia as well as bits of America, though Americans have always been lukewarm about her because, she claims, they like their stars “packaged”. The Australians, by contrast, adore her: “We get each other. They don’t like wrapping and cellophane.” She seems rather packaged herself. Isn’t she? “My albums are, but I’m not.” We meet backstage at the ISS Dome, outside Dьsseldorf. Offstage she is known by her first name, Alecia. Elfin and muscular (she trained as a gymnast for eight years), she is cheerful in a domineering way. “Do you mind if I take my shoes off?” she says as if asking my permission, but the boots are already on the floor. In real life she hardly comes across as a rebel; indeed she protests that she never set out to be different. “I think in the beginning I was definitely punk rock mentality. Anti-authority, question everything, carve your own path. And I think I’ve done that in my little pop world in some aspects. Now my anger is more focused.” She ascribes her extraordinary success to hard work but then adds that she feels that she connects with her fans “on an authentic level”. “I think probably my lyrics ... I’m not subtle or poetic and I think that’s a big part of who I am and why I’m easy to connect to.” Would she like to be more poetic? “No, it’s not my way. I mean, sometimes I wish, yeah, I could say it like some other people do, a lot more eloquently: Lauryn Hill, Joni Mitchell, Paolo Nutini, anyone else really. I would say most people out there are singing songs that are a little more intelligent than what I put out. But mine are extremely honest. Mine are, ‘I’m getting out of bed today and I’m going to put one foot in front of the other. Come join me.’ ” It’s something of a surprise that she’s doing so stratospherically well these days considering she’s been around for a decade — always “the underdog”, she says — an antidote to more self-consciously seductive female acts such as Beyoncй Knowles and Britney Spears. Partly, her continued popularity owes a great deal to the colossal lesbian following she’s garnered for herself, women she’s teased and cultivated over the years with repeated hints that she’s gay (which she’s not). Partly, also, she’s loved because her message is very much in tune with the zeitgeist. P!nk’s job, as she sees it, is to “lift up people out of paying their bills or worrying about their sick aunt” and that sits particularly well in a culture that’s fallen out of love with conspicuous consumption and is anxious about the future. Her concerts, extravagant and energetic as they are, are really “group therapy,” she tells me. A key turning point in her career came after she’d recorded her first album, a heavily produced R&B hit called Can’t Take Me Home. Her label had strong ideas about the direction her second album should take but she was beginning to feel disillusioned. “It was the opposite of what I thought the music world was about, which was blood, sweat and tears.” There followed a period of altercation, but eventually whoever was in charge gave in — “16 million records later I said, ‘I told you so.’ ” The “rebel” tag seems something of a red herring. Really, she’s one of those incredibly driven individuals who is aware from a young age of what she wants out of life. Growing up in Pennsylvania, she was thrown out of Sunday school “because I wanted to talk about the fact that Jesus was a Jew”. The rest of her academic life was spent frustrated: “I was anti-authority and ready to be on my own since I was 8. My whole goal in life was to drop out of school, get legally emancipated and hitch-hike across the country and get discovered on Venice beach.” After her parents divorced, she lived with her Jewish mother, with whom she constantly argued and who sent her to see a psychiatrist — satisfyingly for Alecia, the shrink decided “the wrong person is on the couch”. When things deteriorated farther, she went to live with her father, a Roman Catholic, with whom she enjoyed a more harmonious relationship — he liked to play the guitar. By the time she was 14, she was performing in clubs in Philadelphia. At 16 she joined a girl group, Choice, and went solo not long after, dabbling in cocaine and crystal meth along the way, a habit that she eventually grew out of. She’s far happier now, she says, than a decade ago, a time in her life when “I hadn’t really done anything. I didn’t know the true meaning of really hard work, I didn’t know what it takes to stick up for yourself or to make your own path or to put everything on the line because you believe in it.” Her third album, Try This, bombed. But she triumphed again with her comeback, I’m Not Dead. It included the hits Stupid Girls, which won her a Grammy Award nomination for Best Female Pop Vocal Performance, and Dear Mr President, which went down well particularly with Germans and Belgians. Most of her songs, however, seem to chart her relationship with Carey. They’re reconciled now although he’s not with his wife in Dьsseldorf because he’s racing dirt bikes. Generally theirs is an harmonious union nowadays, thanks in part to her persistence and cunning. “I have a Jewish nature which means guilt is bred in my nature. So I can carry guilt with the best of them and I can also give it. Ha ha.” She lured Carey back with a photo album full of pictures of happier days together: “I gave it to him. I was like: ‘I don’t want to have this any more, I think you should have it.’ ” Overwhelmed by the memories, Carey eventually came around to the realisation that he missed his estranged wife. “It was a bit of trickery but it worked,” she says, obviously delighted with herself. She’s still eye-wateringly ambitious. Even now she has an extremely long “bucket list” (“all the things you want to do before you kick the bucket”): have a photograph she’s taken published in Time magazine; be responsible for the rescuing of thousands of animals; make an acoustic record “that’s this generation’s Joni Mitchell meets Carly Simon meets Janis Joplin”. But a tap on the door interrupts her. It’s show time. And half an hour later she’s diving on to stage, by her own admission a flawed but straight-talking sequin-covered dynamo, extracting her visibly grateful audience for two hours from the trials of the everyday.

Einstein? Sergey Brin, the 34 year old founder of Google?....Call me crazy but I'm starting to see a pattern here. Even Hezbollah has got to be impressed!

  In an effort to make 4JewsOnly the best it can be, we've recently asked visitors the following question." Why do you visit 4JewsOnly.com? What do you like about it least and most? Please advise.Thanks,from the 4JewsOnly.com High Rabbinical Consul."   4JewsOnly.com users hale from 97 countries. The 4JewsOnly visitor's are from all walks of life such as doctors, lawyers, solders ,business people,truck drivers and even a few celebrities (who's privacy I wish to respect.) One especially impressive 4JewsOnly visitor Eric L. who is currently getting his certification in remote medicine. This guy sends us e-mails from remote jungles where he is volunteering his surgical skills to those in need that have no western medicine available. As you can see for yourself, 4JewsOnly.com has a huge audience and diverse Jewish demographic. We  offer something for everyone.With that said, we've recently posted blogs on a myriad of topics that include politics, dating ,advice,Jewish current events and humor. Although quite a few political blogs have been posted as of late, for those that haven't caught on yet, 4JewsOnly is basically a humor driven site. The above question was inspired as a result of a several  irate e-mails. Don't get us wrong, We actually enjoy stepping on unfunny peoples toes when the complaints are in regard to humor. But getting into it over politics? Honestly, it's just not worth the trip. We were shocked when we posted a clip of  Barbara Streisand singing the Hatikvah to Golda Meir. We've received numerous poison pen letters cursing Babs for her liberal politics! We at 4JewsOnly posted the classic clip for Israel's 62 year of Independence because A. it was an appropriate, poignant blast from the past and B. because we love Barbara's magical version of the Hatikvah, not to mention that it was great to see Golda's pumium. Here are two recent comments about the content of 4JewsOnly we we'd like to share.

The first sour grapes comment is from Paul E. I guess Paul either: A. Is a militant gentile and he has self appointed himself the Chancellor for Goium Rights B. thought he was logging on the Jerusalem Post. C. attempted to fart and accidentally soiled himself or D. All of the above

Paul E. wrote:

THIS WEB SITE IS SO OFFENSIVE IVE LIVED AND WORKED IN ISRAEL AND WHEN THEY ASK IF YOUR JEWISH AND THEY YOU SAY NO THE REACTION IS OH!!! HOW MANY NON JEWS HELPED JEWS OVER THE PAST FEW THOUSAND YEARS HOW MNAY SOLDIERS DIED FIGHTING HITLER 99.9% OF WHOM WERE NON JEWS WHAT ABOUT OSCAR SHINDLER IF HE WERE ALIVE TODAY I TAKE IT HES NOT WELCOME HERE EITHER?

After shaking our heads and upon deep deliberation the High Rabbinical Consul at 4JewsOnly.com has  concluded that Paul's an idiot.  However, what's fair,is fair. We'd  like to congratulate  Paul on his new vocation as the self appointed  spokesperson for the Oscar Schindler estate. However, next time try to remember the proper spelling of Schindler. But seriously Paul, did you notice the Honorary Jewish Membership Certificate (for the goy who's all that)  at the top of the 4JewsOnly.com  homepage?

Then after much deliberation,  We had a divine intervention.  We had sent that question out to countless people. The one person who seems to have his finger on the pulse however, is Rabbi David Abramson from Israel. (That's him in the picture) And this is what the Honorable Rabbi had this to say:

 "It's all about the Jokes and Chicks dude"

So there you have it. From now on 4JewsOnly.com proudly announces that we're going to step up the funny! And if we write anything that offends anyone, sorry, you'll have to take it up with the rabbi. In closing, seeing how funny Rabbi Abramson is, arose a good question that we'll need to have him address; were there any mentions of jokes or referenced to anything funny in the Torah? It's a pretty long scroll filled with hundreds of colorful characters. Surely one of them had to have a sense of humor? Think about it, Aaron and Moses were brothers. I'm sure at one time or another Aaron said unto his brother Moses ,"Hey, pull my finger!"

 I PLEDGE:

Last night I was celebrating my friend's birthday at an East Village spot. A great Whitney Houston song came on that triggered all females to jump up and dance. (Meanwhile, the men just looked at each other and said, "Who actually likes this song?") Anyway, I happened to be in the back far away from the dance floor, but I couldn't resist getting down, even if it was all by myself. I was in my groove (yes, Stella got her groove back) when some very cute boy (literally) approached me. The exchange went something like this: MY INITIAL THOUGHT: Does this boy even shave? Right now I'm not really feeling like being social. But let's see...I'll be curious and give him a minute to see where this goes. WE CHIT CHAT FOR A MINUTE. NEXT THOUGHT: He's obviously a nice guy and very brave for coming over. An 'A' for effort. If only you were 10 years older, this could be fun. I SAY: Well, thank you so much for coming over here and keeping me company on the dance floor. It's very brave and sweet of you. I pat his arm, and give him the signal that we're about done. I sincerely meant what I said and I think he really received that intention. He looked at me appreciatively, gave a little nod, shy smile, and walked away. I thought that went well and I felt really good about the exchange. It felt nice being nice. I actually felt like I did a good deed. No need to be a biotch if you're not interested. That then inspired me to reach out to someone who had been pursuing me and who I left hanging via text. I'd been deliberating whether or not it was better to just not respond or to face the situation. Which would be less bruising to the ego? But after last night I decided that leaving someone hanging isn't a reflection of what I want to be about. If I'm about connectedness and the value of every human being - than being too cool for school is not the way. So I contacted the guy and that exchange went brilliantly. It has now sent me on a kick of reinforcement that being nice is not only nice, but effective. In fact, being honest about my feelings with both guys made me feel closer to them. I know my experience on the dance floor can't possibly compare to nations at war. But there is a kernel of grander truth that shimmered for me in the dark, dirty downtown spot, at 3am, over Whitney Houston...and that was golden rule. Perhaps the secret to world peace revealed itself to me in a profound way - as I practiced what I was taught since I was little - treat others how you want to be treated. If we all worked up the patience and the guts to share our differences and varied intentions out loud, with respect, and honesty, I think we all might feel more connected, more love, and even a little sexier. Sincerely, Stella P.S. Insulting someone actually activates their fight or flight hormones for 48 hours. Consistent highs in these hormones lead to all sorts of negative things like heart disease. So next time you're considering being mean, know that sticks and stones may break your bones and that words can actually hurt you. Be nice!

Congratulations Israel on 62 years of independence! This is an opportunity to celebrate all that Israel has accomplished and to reaffirm the bonds that unite our two nations – our strategic partnership, our shared values, and our common aspirations. You know, in 1948, it took President Truman only 11 minutes to recognize your new nation. And ever since, the United States has stood with you in solidarity. Since my first visit to Israel nearly thirty years ago, I have returned many times and made many friends. And I have shared your pride in seeing the desert bloom, the economy thrive and your country flourish. I have a deep personal commitment to Israel. And so does President Obama. Our nation will not waver in protecting Israel’s security and promoting Israel’s future. That is why pursuing peace and recognized borders for Israel is one of our top priorities. We believe it is possible – indeed necessary – to achieve a comprehensive peace in the Middle East that provides Israelis, Palestinians, and all the people of the region security, prosperity, and the opportunity to live up to their full God-given potential. Israel today is confronting some of the greatest challenges in its history, but its promise and potential have never been greater. The United States will continue to stand with you, sharing your risks and helping shoulder your burdens, as we face the future together.

“Whatever they are selling at Azrieli’s H&M, you can get it later, in the States! It’s not worth fighting those lines.” Simona told me when the store first opened. I mean, I visit America pretty often so I figured she was right. So I changed my mind and decided not to go to the grand opening of the H&M in Israel. Later that evening on the news, I saw the live video of packs of crazy girls screaming and shoving for entry. I felt certain that I had made the right choice by staying home. Israeli transplant Roz Sentell knows her stuff when it comes to fashion. She comes to Tel Aviv with experience as a milliner (designing, making and selling hats) and a fashion buyer from America’s fashion capital New York City! Get a load of what she thinks about Israel’s clothing store addition: H&M. I guess I was really just staying home for the crowds, because weeks following the opening event, I was still so hungry for American type fashion. I just needed to go. And I thought it could be safe now, less hectic, and the stock would be replenished in the mean time. I forced myself out of bed early this past Friday morning and taxied to the mall just for this store. I had heard complaints from friends who had gone to the opening or the week after and it wasn’t just about the lines or the crowds. They told me the fashion was not trendy. I had also heard about waiting on line for a half hour just to get in, but that actually wasn’t so bad when I got there. When I did arrive, I was pleasantly surprised I did not have to wait on any line to get in. Still, the store was definitely full. Later, I wandered though rooms and rooms filled with basics, and true to the rumor, not much style. My patient theory is the investors didn’t know really what Israeli women would want so they just brought in basics. As you can see by the photo, only basic tees and leggings seemed to be stocked. TONS AND TONS OF BLAZERS. WHY??? What Israeli woman needs endless blazers?? The one thing I saw on the mannequin that looked interesting was something they didn’t even have in stock. After I entered the store I stared wide-eyed at the main entrance display which promised so much for my new Israeli H&M shopping experience. A long flowy floral dress made of only recycled material and stretchy taupe gladiator heels that promised me quietly affordable style (later I found out they were the only heels offered in the store.) I had high hopes for a stylish fun shopping experience.And then I saw the sequined gold hot pants on the left wall. Later, I went to the lingerie section. There, I felt let down by the unimpressive quality. The basic bras and panties look like they were made from a synthetic looking polyester silk that would pill or perhaps snag in the washing machine. I know H&M is budget, but come on! I guess I was still expecting something better–the kind of thing I would expect in the United States with H&M’s rep. Still, I chose a push up bra or two to try on. Typically used to American bras, I couldn't figure out the size conversion. In America bras are sized very differently. I saw A and B and D but NO Cs at all! So I choose a B 75 even though I am a C thinking I could get an idea and see later if I could find a C with some help of a sales attendant. Following this, I searched for some type of assistance but found no one available in that department. Another letdown. I went to check out the room for jeans. I have always loved H&M jeans; they fit my figure so well. Saw a pair called boyfriend cut (could it be good for my curvy figure? But I only saw size 32. I figured that I could get a different size later should it not fit. I then saw a sign on the wall for jean styles with pictures and saw one called baggy-with a elasticized cuffs. I couldn’t find this style anywhere on the racks and again no sales attendant! So I wandered into the men’s section–where of course there were plenty of sales people organizing the rack. (Why weren’t they in the women’s department where they are truly needed?!) I looked around and noticed almost an entire room filled with men’s underwear and boxer briefs! What a selection! I saw a saleswoman organizing and asked her if she could find me the jeans I was looking for. She said they don’t carry them. Next, I went to try on the clothing. I was told only 4 garments at a time. So I left my underwear and bathing suits by the entrance (mind you none of the bikini tops and bottoms matched in stock or had few sizes to choose from.) I had selected bathing suits in the sizes indicated on the hangers. When I got inside the fitting room, I realized the sizes on the hangers didn’t match the garments! Worse, when I asked the sales attendant for a change of size for the jeans to a 30 or 31, she refused to help. Before leaving H&M, I figured I’d just grab a pair of boyfriend jeans in a size 31, and if they don’t fit, I’ll come back and exchange it. When I saw the lines to the register I gave up and ran away. I glanced over at the accessories table on the way out and let out a shudder. Who would buy cheap silver looking hair pins and butterfly rings?? And a wall just for plastic hair clips? Why so much crap?! I called Simona later that day to give over my rant. “I don’t usually like writing negative things on my blog,” Simona said. But I insisted! H&M needs to know! I hope one day H&M will bring in the fashions and selection that we deserve in Israel.

OK, I'm not one of these Elvis is still alive, JFK conspiracy theory guys. Quite frankly, as far as I’m concerned, these sorts of things were always nothing more than physiological freak shows for people with far too much time on their hands. The other day, one of my business associates sat me down and insisted that I watch a watch some clips about UFO sightings. Although I was busy and in the middle of ten things, I politely humored him. Don't get me wrong, the universe is a bigger place than we could ever imagine we'd have to be kidding ourselves that we're the only planet with life in all of outer space. Nonetheless, YouTube? Please! As I politely humored my friend,  I was thinking to myself, "with all of the special effects out today, any prankster with a cell phone camera could conger up an impressive video clip of a mere Big Foot or Loch Ness Monster." So I smiled and watched. The interviews started to become more and more convincing, including an interview with former astronaut, Buzz Aldrin. Buzz Aldrin is pretty darn credible. "Surely he's not out of his mind. Nor would he blatantly besmirch his own credibility" I thought to myself. Some of these videos received millions of hits on YouTube. I asked my friend, so if these were actually real, why wouldn't it make the front page of the New York Times?" And he brought out a valid point, "it would only make perfectly normal sense for the government not to instill unnecessary fear and chaos in society."  As I admitted, I absolutely believe on life on other planets but I still wasn't convinced. At this point my friend (who happens to be a pretty intelligent and savvy business man) was nothing more than the guy sitting in the audience in Las Vegas watching Siegfried and Roy, saying, wow ! they made that white tiger disappear! That poor tiger! I hope he's ok!" Needless to say, at this point I was thinking to myself, poor Buzz Aldrin, that nice white haired old man is going off the deep end."

 

 That’s when my friend brought up a compelling point. "Listen, you don't have to give these videos any credence, however it sounds like there absolutely were in fact reference made to extra terrestrial's in the Torah .The book of Daniel spoke of Elijah. " behold, there appeared a chariot of fire, and horses of fire, and parted them both asunder; and Elijah went up by a whirlwind into heaven And Elisha saw it, and he cried, My father, my father, the chariot of Israel, and the horsemen thereof. And he saw him no more." So a chariot of fire came down from the heavens. Elijah, go on it and it took him up,up, up and away!" So the next day, there I was minding my own business in front of my computer and on the homepage of AOL, the Howard County, Wisconsin Sheriff Department  actually leaked the video from police camera's that you can see below. The Wisconsin Sheriff's department is a pretty credible source. The video looks to me a lot like a chariot of fire. Was Elijah abducted by a UFO?  Check it out these videos and form your own conclusion.

 

   

 Just bought a goldfish... gonna take it back though. I think it's epileptic... but it seemed fine when it was in it's bowl!

The significant shift in U.S. policy toward Israel and the peace process, which has been evident in comments from various members of the Obama Administration and has now been confirmed by the president himself in his press conference at the Nuclear Security Summit, is deeply distressing. Saying that the absence of a resolution of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict undermines U.S. interests in the broader Middle East and the larger issue of resolving other conflicts is a faulty strategy. It is an incorrect approach on which to base America's foreign policy in the Middle East and its relationship with its longtime friend and ally, Israel. ADL has long expressed its concern from the very beginning of the Obama Administration about advisers to the president who see the ongoing Israeli-Palestinian conflict as a major impediment to achieving the administration's foreign policy and military goals in the wider region. The net effect of this dangerous thinking is to shift responsibility for success of American foreign policy away from Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Saudi Arabia, and Egypt and directly onto Israel. It is particularly disturbing in light of the blatantly disproportionate number and the nature of statements issued by this administration criticizing Israel as compared to what has been said about the Palestinians. The best way to move the peace process between the Israelis and Palestinians forward is for all parties to demand that the Palestinians abandon their tactic of "just saying no" and insist that the rest of the Arab world move toward normalization relations with Israel. Abraham Foxman is the president of theAnti-Defamation League - a U.S. nonprofit dedicated to human rights

The Bnei Menashe (sons of Manasseh) claim descent from one of the Ten Lost Tribes of Israel, who were sent into exile by the Assyrian Empire more than 27 centuries ago.

Their ancestors wandered through Central Asia and the Far East for centuries, before settling in what is now northeastern India, along the border with Burma and Bangladesh.

Throughout their sojourn in exile, the Bnei Menashe continued to practice Judaism just as their ancestors did, including observing the Sabbath, keeping kosher, celebrating the festivals and following the laws of family purity. And they continued to nourish the dream of one day returning to the land of their ancestors, the Land of Israel.

In recent years, Shavei Israel has brought some 1,400 Bnei Menashe back home to Zion, including 450 in the past year alone. Another 7,000 still remain in India, waiting for the day when they too will be able to return to Israel and the Jewish people.

Ron Kuby,was the attorney who defended Al Qaeda and Sheik Rahman the "Islamic Hitler", when Al Qaeda plotted the first attack on the World Trade Center. Kuby, a long time revolutionary communist also helped try to free and defend Al Qaeda members caught trying to bomb numerous synagogues, the Lincoln Tunnel, subways, and bridges all over New York, Kuby praises Hamas Arab Nazi suicide bombers who bomb Jews in Israel as ‘heroes’! Kuby also defended Colin Ferguson, a black radical who hated all whites and slaughtered a whole lot of them a few years ago on the Long Island Rail Road, with the other traitor to the Jews, the late William Kunster, his former legal partner. Kuby said that Ferguson shooting white men, women and children was legitimate "black rage against all whites who deserve to be slaughtered!" Kuby has gone to PLO and Hamas ‘Death to Israel’ rallies and ‘Death to America’ rallies time after time. Kuby has openly called for a violent communist revolution against America.! He defended Larry Davis, who shot police calling him a hero! When the World Trade Center was blown up the first time, Kuby and Kunster said it "was a good strike against America, and that America deserved more such attacks" Mobilization Against Terror is launching " Operation Crush Terror!" To run this enemy of Jews, Israel and America helper of Al Qaeda Islamic Nazi terror right out of New York ! If you are fed up with this, come to an emergency rally outside Kuby's home, Sunday May 16th,at 1pm. The address is 430 West 23 street (between 9th & 10th avenues) RALLY WILL BE LOUD-LEGAL-LAWFUL !